Assertive behavior is the ability to express thoughts, feelings, opinions directly, honestly and in an appropriate manner and according to the delivery that does not hurt or harm themselves or others. Some aspects of assertive behavior, which is trying to reach the goal, the ability to express feelings, say hello or greet others, showing an effective and honest, ask the reason, talk about themselves, appreciate the compliments from others, denial, staring at the speaker, and response against fear. From the above, the possibility of assertive behavior can affect emotional intelligence.
Tips for assertive behavior that can be used are :
- Determine a definite attitude, whether you want to agree or not. If you are unsure of your choice, then you can ask for time to think until you get certainty. If you're feeling confident and will certainly your own choice, then it will be easier to declare it and you also feel more confident.
- If it is not clear what is requested to you, ask for clarity or clarification.
- Give an explanation for your rejection brief, clear and logical. Lengthy explanation would only invite arguments of others.
- Use words were firm, such as directly saying "no" to deny, rather than "I am less likely to agree .. it seems to me less agree ... I am not able to ....."
- Make sure that your posture also expresses or reflects the "language" with thoughts and verbalize your ... Often people subconsciously reject the request of others, but with the opposite attitude, such as laughing and smiling.
- Use the words "I'm not going to ...." or "I have decided to ....." from the "I can not ....". Because the words "I've decided to ...." show more assertiveness on the attitude that you show.
- If you are dealing with someone who constantly urges you but you also have repeatedly rejected, then the alternative attitudes or actions that you can do: silence, changing the subject, or even stop talking.
- You do not need to apologize for your refusal to say (because you think it will hurt or uncomfortable for others) ... Actually, you'd better say, emphatically like: "I understand that this news is not fun for you ..... but frankly I've decided to ... "
- Do not be easy to feel guilty! you are not responsible for the lives of others ... or the happiness of others.
- You can negotiate with the other side so that both sides get a middle road, without having to sacrifice feelings, desires and interests of each.